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Imagine that you have a young child in a reputable daycare center. Then one day a favorite staff members pulls you aside and whispers to you.

“I’m resigning today, and wanted to tell you why. The owner hired some new people on the cheap who aren’t good with kids. They yell at the kids. I told the owner what’s happening, but she isn’t doing something about it. I can’t continue working for a manager who thinks yelling is okay.”

Shocked, you thank her for her honesty. You pull aside another of your favorite staff members, and she confirms the story. You realize that you need to have your child in a healthier place.

Now let’s shift gears for a moment. Most parents would see the logic of removing their child from an abusive daycare center. But there’s something even more damaging that many adults do to themselves for years. Many adults insult themselves through negative self-talk. We say things such as…
- “I don’t deserve to be happy, so I shouldn’t do X.”
- “You’re no good at ___, so why even bother?”

If you wouldn’t allow a stranger to yell at your child, then why is it okay for you to insult yourself on a daily basis? Obviously it’s not okay. But so many people do it!

By thinking of yourself as a child, it’s easier to speak to yourself more positively. If you wouldn’t let someone else insult you, then why would you allow insults during self-talk?

By being kind to yourself, it’s easier to be kind to others. One reason some people insult other people is because on the inside, they constantly harm themselves.

(I’m two days late with this, but here it is anyway.)

On June 7, 2009, Professor David Spiegel, of the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioural Sciences at Stanford University, will address his colleagues in the UK about hypnosis.

Dr. Spiegel believes that in some surgeries, hypnosis would be better than general anaesthetics. He’ll be addressing the joint conference of the Royal Society of Medicine, the British Society of Clinical and Academic Hypnosis, and the British Society of Medical and Dental Hypnosis.

He also believes that hypnotherapy would be useful for many medical conditions, including allergies and cancer. To see who has a different opinion and to read the full article, click below.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2009/jun/07/hypnotise-patients-doctors-operations-anaesthetics

I’m glad to see more medical professionals, such as Dr. Spiegel, encouraging their colleagues to consider adding hypnosis as one more tool in their toolkit. It’s nice to have another option beyond just medication and surgery.

Dr. Spiegel says there’s solid science behind hypnosis, and from the research I’ve seen, I agree with him. Unfortunately, just because there’s good evidence doesn’t equal acceptance by the medical community.

In my opinion, one reason hypnosis hasn’t become mainstream is simply inertia. Any large group, whether it’s the medical field or professional baseball, simply takes a while to adopt new things. It takes a while to get the ball rolling. But the ball is rolling, and I’ve noticed that it seems to be rolling faster.

This week I saw a friend who’s a dentist. He’s also learned a lot about healing and related topics.

Over the years he’s had the honor of interviewing many Buddhist healers; somehow they just appear in his life, and he’s learned much from them.

The latest healer told him that when you use the bathroom, things flow out of the body, including toxins.

But if you read while using the bathroom, more blood flows to the brain, hence more of the toxins stay in the body.

Bottom line: think less when you’re in the bathroom.

I’m in the process of making some changes to my business, including offering hypnosis in different ways. The changes will probably start in June. If you’re already on my email newsletter list, then simply email me with “Updated Programs” in the subject line. Then as soon as I finalize them, I’ll email you the programs.

If you’re not on the list yet, then please click on the “Start Here” menu. You’ll receive a free hypnosis report and will start receiving the newsletter.

Last time I talked about my XYZ issue and how thinking in a structural way really helped me. Today I’d like to continue that discussion by giving more flavor to the concept.

My wife and I vacationed in Washington, DC and just got back last week. I’m still catching up at the office with phone calls and emails to still return. There’s always lots to do after a trip.

But it was worth it. In DC, I got really excited about… their street system.

East/west for numbers, and north/south for letters. Let’s say you’re at “H” and 22nd, and you need to go to “P” and 24th, then simply go west two blocks, then north eight blocks. I wish all cities had such an easy system!

Now let’s shift gears to Jane who has the goal of losing weight. She tries very hard, but keeps gaining it all back in a few months. She’s motivated, but she lacks knowledge of how the “system” works!

If you know DC’s “street system,” it’s easy to reach your destination. If you understand the “mental system,” it’s easier to reach your goal.

The mental system, or your mind, is a complex topic. So I’ll only cover a small bit of it today.

As an example, for Jane, she has a hidden mental block that requires that she remain overweight. In a sense, she can’t win until she lets go of that block. Unfortunately for her, she doesn’t realize she has a hidden block. So she blames herself for lack of will power. But will power has nothing to do with it.

She simply is using the wrong structure to tackle her problem.

Bottom line: if you’re having trouble reaching a goal, then there may be a mental block. One way to resolve that block is through hypnosis. Knowing hypnosis helps you to think in a structural way rather than a situation-specific way.

A situation-specific thinker will take a long time traveling in DC, because each destination is a new thing and he has to work hard figuring out how to get to each place.

But a structural thinker will travel easily, because each destination is the same as all the others, at least from a conceptual way. In a sense, all destinations are equal.

Because you if you understand the street system, then you can easily get to your destination. East/west streets are numbers, and north/south streets are letters. Knowing that, it’s easy to reach your destination.

The last few weeks I’ve had a really, really rough time dealing with a big challenge in my life.

For now, let’s call it the XYZ issue. Anyhow, XYZ has frustrated me so much, that I’ve not been my usual happy self. Normally when I have big problems, I remain upbeat and optimistic about solving them. Managing my mood is a skill that I developed after many years of suffering. I’m not perfect at it, but most of the time I feel good.

Because I was no longer managing my emotions as well as usual, I became concerned. And I asked myself, “What’s going on? Is XYZ so different? Or is something else affecting me?” My conclusion? The XYZ problem, though complex and serious, wasn’t so different; it hadn’t caused the mood shift.

My mood shifted, because I’d temporarily stopped using my regular routine of structural thinking. I’d stopped thinking of the XYZ issue as a structure, and had started thinking of it as a real problem. And that’s why I’d gotten stuck and felt upset!

Solution? I returned to what had worked for me for many years: think in a structural way. And almost instantly, my mood shifted back to being upbeat and optimistic.

There’s no guarantee that I’ll overcome the XYZ issue, but I know that being in a negative mood decreases my power, and being in a positive mood increases my power. And to overcome the XYZ issue, I’ll need all the power I have!

Bottom line: XYZ, though serious, wasn’t the real problem. The real problem was how I perceived XYZ. Once I started to use my normal routine of structural thinking, the XYZ problem disappeared. And XYZ, though still an issue, is no longer a problem. It’s simply a puzzle that needs to be solved. But I like puzzles, so there’s no problem!

I’ll be writing more about how to think in a structural way. So stay tuned!

For many days it’s been raining in San Francisco. People tell me about the “bad weather” lately. When it’s sunny, they tell me about the “good weather.”

Here’s a 7-day experiment that may be worth doing, no matter what the weather is like in your town. Instead of judging the weather, simply describe it. For example…
- “Today will be a rainy day.”
- “Today will be a sunny day.”

In these examples, it’s a neutral description. No judging whether you like or don’t like it. It is what it is.

What’s profound about shifting the language? Much of our unhappiness stems from our judgments. By making a few small adjustments to our language, we can help keep the mind clear. By keeping the mind more clear, we can “hear” the happiness around us, and we enjoy it more easily.

But if our mind is filled with lots of judgment, we can’t “hear” as much of the happiness.

By the way, I’m not implying that we eliminate judgment. For most of us, that’s tough.

Instead I suggest that we become more aware of when it’s useful to judge and when it’s less useful. And to adjust our judgment language accordingly.

If you decide to do the 7-day experiment, please take a moment to post your results onto my blog. It will encourage others to then also do the experiment.

To recap, simply describe each day’s weather in a neutral way. Instead of judging it good or bad, describe it in a factual way. Then notice what happens to you. You may notice a surprising and useful effect.


After a long journey, the Habit Project blog is live!

Why did I convert my old Web site (launched in 2003) into a blog site?

1. I’m a hypnotherapist, not a Web designer. It will be much easier to update a blog than a regular site. Saving time is always good!
2. Having a blog helps with SEO (search engine optimization). In plain English, that means it’ll be easier for people to find my articles and other resources on this site. (Articles will be coming soon this month.)
3. And last but not least, I’m going to be changing how I do my monthly newsletter, and having a blog will give me more options on that issue.

During this month I’ll begin putting things into the “Articles” page and “Resources” page. For a while I’ll still be learning my way around how to use a blog, so please, if you see something that doesn’t look right, let me know. I’d appreciate it! And I’ll fix it as soon as I can.

Or if you have a suggestion for a future article or posting, please let me know. Thanks!